Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
