the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
