i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
