omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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