I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
