id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
