it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize