If that was your dad, he is hot
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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