Duck Duck Cougar?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
