i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
