Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
