drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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