I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
