The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Oh god it's open bar.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize