She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
