So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
