He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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