Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point đź’ś
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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