Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
