well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
