Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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