She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
