My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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