Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
