like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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