I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
