Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
