i wish peter jackson would direct porn
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize