Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
