i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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