i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
