Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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