Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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