so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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