i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We talked him into tasing himself.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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