Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
