I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Blood and glitter go together right?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
