ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
