do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
