My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
