Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
