why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
