theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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