I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
