oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
