ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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