OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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