its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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