They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
