You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
