and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
